


really very short on charm

by caelestys



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Dragons, Kidnapping, M/M, Prince Chuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caelestys/pseuds/caelestys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The guy peers at him through bars of the door. He’s quite good looking, for a commoner, under all the soot and muck. “I think it’s more a virginity thing than a gender thing.”</p><p>Chuck gapes at him. He then realizes that he looks like a fish, and hurriedly shuts his mouth. The guy smirks.</p><p> “I am - that is - how preposterous!” he exclaims, and feels a blush bloom up his neck. He turns away to hide it.</p><p>The guy says, “Enjoy your gruel,” and is gone.</p><p>Fuck that guy.</p><p>Or not, as it were.</p>
            </blockquote>





	really very short on charm

Being the handsome son of a wealthy king comes with its downsides. Sure, Chuck goes to sleep every (most) nights on a bed of warm furs, he has servants pandering to his every whim, and he has epic raging balls thrown on his birthday every year. But then he also has to contend with the whole, getting kidnapped and held for ransom thing, which is really just a pain in the arse.

He’s pretty sure the coffers will run completely empty with the latest one. It wouldn’t be so bad if some neighbouring king had sent a bunch of bandits to come knock him out and whisk him away, because Chuck is handy with his fists and knows his way around a sword. No one gets the drop on him. Other than the eight times that they actually did and he woke up in a cell.

But a dragon? A fucking dragon. Really. What the fuck is Chuck supposed to do about that? He’d been pretty sure that dragons only ever kidnapped princesses, but that was laid to rest when he was on his way back from a hunt and it knocked out all of his knights and whisked him away. Apparently this is an enterprising, new-age, non-gender-discriminatory dragon.

He says as much to the blonde-haired, dirty-faced dude who comes to give him his food in the evenings, and the guy blinks at him and shoves a bowl of gruel in his direction.

“Welcome to the 7th Century, your highness,” he says glibly, raising an eyebrow, and is gone before Chuck can reply.

 

+

 

By the next night, Chuck has tried taking the door off its hinges, prying the bars open, and fitting through the food flap. He only gets his ankle and half his calf through. When the guy comes back, Chuck tells him, “I mean, really, if I knew that the times had progressed so much so that dragons felt like it was beneficial to capture men as well as women, I would have been a lot more prepared for this.”

The guy says, “I feel like your views on gender are horribly archaic.” He slides the bowl in through the flap door.

Chuck’s hoping it’s not gruel tonight. His hopes are shattered when the flap in the door opens and in slides of bowl of gruel, but he’s starving, so he eats it anyway.

“Excuse me, my cousin Princess Mako Mori is equally as capable as I of beheading a dragon.” He ignores the quiet huff of ‘Clearly not capable enough,’ and continues stubbornly, “I just always thought that dragons had some sort of fetish for princesses of the female variety.”

The guy peers at him through bars of the door. He’s quite good looking, for a commoner, under all the soot and muck. “I think it’s more a virginity thing than a gender thing.”

Chuck gapes at him. He then realizes that he looks like a fish, and hurriedly shuts his mouth. The guy smirks.

“I am - that is - how preposterous!” he exclaims, and feels a blush bloom up his neck. He turns away to hide it.

The guy says, “Enjoy your gruel,” and is gone.

Fuck that guy.

Or not, as it were.

But seriously, it would make this whole virginity problem a lot easier.

 

+

 

He gets carrots and potatoes the next day, which is a significant upgrade from the gruel, but it’s still shit. Chuck tells the guy, Raleigh, as much.

“Are you mocking my cooking?”

“No! What?” Chuck says, then takes a bite out of his carrot. It’s half raw. “Actually, yes. This is terrible.”

He sits with his back against the door and stares at the bars of his window. Somewhere behind him, Raleigh clears his throat.

“So you know why the dragon kidnapped you?”

“Because I’m pure and virginal, apparently?” Chuck grumbles, munching miserably on his carrot.

“Well, that. And also because apparently you’re pretty.”

“How do you even know that? Do you speak dragon? How do you speak dragon? How do you even learn dragon? And what am I supposed to do with that? Honestly, it would be easier if he wanted money. I have loads of that.”

There’s silence on the other side. Chuck finishes his carrot and moves onto the potatoes.

“Honestly, Raleigh, this is shit. I’m going to wither away before Dad comes to get me.”

Raleigh gives a huff of laughter. “Don’t insult the cook, kid,” he says.

Chuck moans and tips over onto his side.

“I’m going to starve to death, aren’t I. Or get eaten.”

 

+

 

The third day, Raleigh slides a sword through the food flap, along with half a chicken. Chuck is embarrassed to say he leaps on the chicken first.

“Why’d I only get half?” he says, licking his fingers. It’s not half bad. Needs some seasoning.

Raleigh snorts. “There’s someone else here who needs to eat, too, you know.”

“You couldn’t have led with that on the first day? That gruel was the worst.”

“You know how hard it is to, first, find a chicken who’s stupid enough to wander within range of a dragon’s nest, and second, actually chase it down and catch it?”

“I could teach you how to hunt,” Chuck says. “If you let me out.”

“It took me a day and a half find that sword for you, and I risked getting roasted and eaten to do it. Give me a bit of a breather before I risk my life again for the keys.”

“Also, what the fuck am I supposed to do with a sword? It’s like a toothpick compared to the dragon,” Chuck grumps.

“You’re such a little shit. See if I ever bring you nice things again.”

Chuck sighs. Then he says, grudgingly, “Thanks, I guess.”

"Dragons have short tempers, man. Getting you out is gonna take a while, and then you’re gonna have to fight your way out, so please tell me you’re not the sort of prince who spends all day eating grapes and playing lyres.”

“Fuck you, I am a knight.”

“Sure. Fat lot of good that does us with you in there and me out here.”

“Let me out and I’ll show you exactly how good I am with a sword.” Chuck winces as soon as the words leave his mouth, and he’s suddenly glad for the solid wooden door between them.

Raleigh is silent for a moment. But Chuck can hear the smile in his voice when he finally says, “I’m counting on it.”

 

+

 

On the fourth day, Raleigh says, “I got you a flaming catapult launcher.”

Chuck wants to kiss him.

 

+

 

On the fifth day, there’s a huge crash and the castle shakes on its foundations. Dust is still falling from the ceiling when Raleigh runs in, unlocks the door and yells at him to get a fucking move on and follow him.

They figure out how to use the flaming catapult launcher. They also figure out how to make the dragon really fucking mad, but not how to maim him, which would have been hugely useful, given the current circumstances. Chuck runs around yelling and waving his sword around his head, dodging trails of fire in an effort to distract the dragon. Raleigh performs a death defying leap off the top of a turret onto the dragon’s neck, and sticks his sword through his throat.

The dragon collapses and dies on the cobblestones. Chuck stares at it dumfounded, and only slightly covered in blood.

“That’s all it took to kill a dragon? What a pussy.”

“Oh, thanks, Raleigh, for killing the dragon, you’re so brave, you saved my life,” Raleigh says, in a horrible imitation of Chuck’s voice. “You’re welcome, brave knight. Just doing my duty to the realm,” he says again, in a deep voice.

“I do not sound like that,” Chuck says, frowning.

Raleigh starts to walk away. Chuck hurries after him.

After a moment, he sighs, “I guess that was kinda cool,” and is rewarded with a bright smile from under sooty skin.

 

+

 

He uses the excuse of them being covered in dragon’s gore and sweat to stop by a river and basically dunk Raleigh in it. It turns out that under what looks like a year’s worth of grime and soot, Raleigh has bright, shiny hair and abs that Chuck wants to lick. Chuck is half hard just looking at him, and has to temper the heat flaring up his spine by thinking of dragons, dead dragons, being covered in dragon gore, his grandmother naked. It doesn’t work.

He pretends he’s not looking when Raleigh turns around, but he thinks the overly-casual whistling might have been overkill. Raleigh smirks at him. He’s got a little more swagger in his step when he walks back to where they left their stuff, and Chuck huffs at him.

“You’re such a show-off.”

“That implies that I have stuff to show off,” Raleigh says, grinning.

“You - it - you’re not that bad, I suppose,” Chuck says grudgingly, glaring at the ground.

Raleigh comes over and stands in front of him. “How not bad, exactly?”

Chuck surges up and kisses him.

“Doing pretty well, then,” Raleigh says.

“That’s what I did say,” Chuck says, grumpy.

Raleigh pulls him in with a hand on his neck. “Well, I guess you’re not bad yourself, princess.”

Chuck pouts until Raleigh licks his mouth open.

 

+

 

“You know, if you have nowhere to go, there’s a place in the knight’s guard.”

“I barely know how to use a sword.”

“I think Sir Raleigh the Dragon Slayer has a nice ring to it.” Raleigh doesn’t say anything, but Chuck thinks he can detect a small smirk. He sighs loudly. “Or if that doesn’t work, I guess you could be my consort instead.”

Raleigh jostles him in the shoulder. “Well, that’ll definitely take care of the virginity problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> In my head, Raleigh basically sold himself into dragon!slavery to save Yancy and was just miserably living in servitude until Chuck came along and it was worth pissing off the dragon for an opportunity to bone him :P
> 
> Title from The Princess Bride. This is the first of a few Kris-gets-drunk-and-writes-stupid-things drabbles from my Tumblr, and was originally posted [here](http://caelestys.tumblr.com/post/94917346278/synekdokee-replied-to-your-post-synekdokee-replied).


End file.
